Indian Stereotypes and Sandwiches.

this wasn't supposed to be a blog post, it was something I wanted perform live but I was just too hyped up today and I don't really think I'm going to get a chance perform this live any soon so here goes.

 

So how many of y'all reading this took science in 11th, can I get a virtual cheer?

YES,LET’S WOO ALL THAT SADNESS OUT TODAY!

Yeah, so my dad is an engineer and one thing I’ve realized through the years is that their generation doesn’t really have a sense of humor. Which brings me to thinking that there actually there wasn’t actually a comedy industry before the past decade. And I’ve come to a conclusion that the reason behind this is that they didn’t really have a lot of content, yeah? And now, ironically enough, they are the content! Because Indian parents CANNOT MOVE OVER THEIR STEREOTYPES, like for real why do you think that if you keep your furniture is according to vastu, your dumb kid is going turn out as smart as your elder son out of nowhere, yes well obviously, I’m the younger one  here if y’all didn’t guess and the worst part is I still haven’t gotten any smarter dude, and I think this is only because I was born in the wrong direction, agar north face kiya hota toh I’d top all the exams I had given yeah. FUCK YOU NON-EXISTENT SCIENCE, you ruined my life!

Talking about stereotypes, this stereotype, more like a law in typical Indian families that a kid born in this house will only take science after 10th no matter how dumb he is and he will become an engineer or a doctor, because if he doesn’t, “samaj wale kya kahenge?” kyuki agar samajh walo ne kuch kaha toh hume to ghar chodke, naya aadhar card banake bhag hi jana hai naya yahase. Its like they think of samaj as bhakts on social media, which doesn’t fit into samaj’s  stereotype tujhe Pakistan jana hi padega!

 Okay, but for real have you seen a kid who actually wants to do engineering? 

I KNOW RIGHTTT, you don’t see a lot of people like that and also these kids don’t need IIT prashikshan Kendra, these kids need THERAPY! These people are the definition of “khud ke pair pe kulhadi marle” They are inviting their own doom, these people are the real khatron ke khiladi! Rohit shetty is a pussy in front of these kids, I didn’t say Akshay Kumar you know because I don’t want sensitive kids on the internet to rant about me, would be good publicity but no.

On the contrary, I was one of  these kids, Alright but don’t get too happy yeah, I wanted do robotics like that is like cool engineering, like I was actually going to use the programming languages I learnt, I wasn’t going to make excel sheets out of them.

So,  I was pretty  sure about this and I thought that, ‘shit bro, iss baar toh sab acha ja raha hai.’. BUT, okay y’all need to imagine this yeah, my parents take me to MY FAVOURITE SANDWICH place and this place serves amazing sandwiches but without CUCUMBER, because who on earth wants CUCUMBER IN THEIR SANDWICH and if you do, you need to go to therapy with the kids who want to do engineering kids. We have to make this world a better place yeah, we need ache din, we can’t just keep dreaming about them.

Okay so getting back, we’re there and I order 3 club sandwiches, 1 without cucumbers! Okay and I come back and sit and my mom says, “Listen you’re going to so and so coaching and you’re going to do medicine after 12th” and now I can do 2 things, I can either go ‘what the fuck’ or I can enjoy my sandwich, and obviously I go WHAT THE FUCK, and I lash out I say, “what why how  I want to do robotics, I’ve done research, I’ve learnt a programming language you can’t do this to me” and I SHIT YOU NOT this happened for real, my dad said the same words in the same order, “are ghar mein bohot engineer hogaye hai, tu kuch toh naya karle” and I have this visual yeah, because I was the person with the kulhadi no, prepared to shove it In my leg but then my dad comes in takes this kulhadi and shoves it in my head dude” and this proves that Indian parents will never miss a chance to hit their kids, even if it’s in their kid’s mind.

And y’all know what the saddest part of this was. My dreams being crushed in front of me for a stupid reason and the future I had prepared myself for, turning into dust in front of my own eyes? PHAT, no. The saddest part was I got the sandwich with CUCUMBERS!